Dear Beautiful Soul,

Every life story is beautiful. Your story is beautiful.
Everything happens at the right time
at the right place
with the right people
with the right circumstances
for the right reason
even if nothing feels and looks right at the given moment.
Perhaps you don't believe it but that will change when we get to know each other better.

Being an unwanted child, my childhood was everything except love and happiness. I did not know better, so I did not wish better. I thought that it was a normal life of a child. My parents were always fighting and I always get beaten for the reason that I don't even remember. Some words were deeply imprinted in my subconscious.

When I was about four or five year old, I vividly remembered waiting for the sun to shine every morning and wondered where did it came from. Then I noticed that it travelled from one mountain to another and then it's gone and come back again every morning. Then I was thinking, I wsih I was the sun because I was curious what's behind those mountains where it rised and setted.

Armed with curiousity, I started running away from home at the age of seven. I wanted to know if there's more than my daily sad routine. My parents were not happy, especially my mother. She called me rebel for being stubborn and different.

So from then on, my life was constantly moving, from one family to another. I have to work at a very young age in exchange for food and shelter and when lucky, a new pair of slippers. Sometimes, I was lucky because some families were kind and sent me to school but there's always something that change the good situation.

Life was getting harder as I grew up. I was tired of moving from one family to another. I wanted a permanent place to live and eat regular meals, have decent clothing. One day I went to the monastery and decided to become a nun, but I was regected by the Mother Superior because she did not believe that I was being called by God to serve that way. I never forget what she said, " Go home.One day, you will understand that you don't belong here. You have another calling. I was so disappointed and even questioned my religious beliefs.
It felt like the world rejected me. Even God was rejected me.

I did not have much understanding about life at that time. Some teachers said I was smart. Some students, keep asking me to help them with their homework. Many bullied me because I was very poor and ugly. But to be honest, I did not understand who I was, what's my worth?
I remembered being sexually harrassed by a family member and ended up spending a night in the woods.

At the age of 25, fate took me to Europe, and my spiritual journey has begun. Things did not get better, I only had more questions. "Who am I?" What's my purpose? Is this the kind of life I want?

I became a wife and a mother. I thought, that was my purpose until my husband was dignosed with malignant melanoma when my daughter was just three year old. He died when she was six.
I started over again and this time it's more difficult. I did not speak the language very well and I had to figure out how to raise my daughter alone.

Another epiphany happened, just 3 months after my husband passed away, I had a serious car accident, had a serious neck injury and it was a miracle that I recovered fully without any lasting complications. During the revalidation process, I was so angry at life and God. Why He let awful things happened to me? I know for sure I am not a bad person. One night when I had so much pain and could not sleep, I challenged God, I was about to give up and that if He truly exist, He should take over because I couldn't anymore. A very tiny but powerful voice coming from deep within, and I know now that it was from the Source, saying,
"It's not the first time that you've hit rock bottom, this too will pass and one day, you will understand. All your questionns will be answered."
At that time, that voice did not matter to me that much. Nothing and no one could convince me that life is still worth living.

I was in a blaming state, blaming everybody in my life, blaming the circumstances and even questioning my belief in the Source. When I look back, it's always one tragedy after another.
I lost the desire to live and I did not see the meaning of life anymore.

Then I remember that I still have a daughter who just lost her father. So I have to work hard.
Financially, I was coping up and getting better. I manifested material things, small and big. I was able to own a business, I met great people who supported me and helped me all the way. I manifested material necessities but I still feel that there's something missing. I felt that I was not good enough, and always feel uncertain about life and what I truly wanted. I needed peace but I did not know how.

One day, I went to the pre-seminar of Tony Robbins' big event and I saw a video clip of him saying "Success without fulfillment is an ultimate failure;" That hit me hard. Yes, success without fulfillment was indeed an ultimate failure. But I thought, what am I going to do to be fulfilled?

I thought giving gives fulfillment but it drained me. I gave too much to wrong people. It has too change. I gave too much of all what I had, time, money, effort but those people whom I cared too much did not even care. I attracted wrong people in my circle.
How did I know that? When I had nothing, they're nowhere to be found.

I dig deeper and look within. I saw chaos inside of me. I know I needed to do the work. With the help of a life coach, I saw a light from a dark tunnel where I stood. I have to work on myself. I have to find find my purpose. I discovered many things in my life that I needed to change. My old limiting beliefs were crippling me...that I am not enough...that I don't deserve genuine happiness because of my past...and so many negative self-talk.

Those people whom I thought caused my depression were not the ones to be blamed of me being drained and unhappy. It was me. I took myself for granted pleasing others and it took me a big fall to understand it.

The most significant lesson I've learned is choosing myself first in everything I do. I have to honor my feelings before making any decision, small or big. I've learned to say "no" unapologitically.

As my mentor Marisa Peer strongly said, Understanding is Power, understanding yourself is super power.

I did not stop there. I wanted to help people to solve easy but complex problem. I want them to have the peace that I have. What I've learned in my self development journey is so powerful not to be shared to others.

I can keep writing, my story doesn't end here but I rather want to build real connection with each one of you and let you not only discover who I really am along the way, most of all, I want you to discover who you truly are? What you want to achieve in life and how to achieve the biggest goal. I want you to learn how to focus on you and appreciate your value as a person.

My coaching and therapy is not a traditional one. It is very personalized and very very well evaluated to guarantee effective and everlasting result.

If you get this far, I heartily invite you to fill up the contact form who knows, your first step to transformation may start here. Follow your feeling.

Whatever you decide, take this with you.
Do not underestimate that tiny positive little voices when you experience adversities. You may not realize how powerful it is at that given moment, but if you don't give up, one day, you will be at the point in your life where you can smile and think, God really does exist and it's a part of you. God never leaves you. So wherever you are right now, do not give up. Keep moving. Do whatever it takes to get ahead. Keep working on becoming the best version of yourself because only then you can serve the best way and only then, you can love the right way.

Much Love,
Selyna